As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more aware of these moments with people who are considered special. Times when you feel as if it is the calm before the storm, the calm that’s often time spent preparing. When you are around those people, it feels like the best course of action is to become a sponge. Absorbing everything that’s said, they contain astronomical amount of memories and experiences that induce awe and respect.
Other times they become a door, a door to experience people you otherwise never had the chance to because after a while, you can only experience some people through memories. For example, my Granny Barbara Jane. She tragically passed away 8 months before I was born, but everything I have heard has made me wish I could have spent time as a little boy hanging out at Granny’s house, etc. I wish I could have memories of my own I could recall at my pleasure, but since I don’t, conversations with my loved ones that do is the closest thing. I love hearing my relatives talk about how wonderful she was, and even the Grandparents on both sides of the family.
My father is my forerunner, and if I have any common sense in my skull, I should try and learn anything he has learned. One of the most haunting things for a father is to see their children commit the same mistakes. In those mistakes are pain, and a father wants to try and prevent that pain from ever occurring. This is why some fathers become so controlling, the missing structure they perhaps didn’t have in their lives they try to have in their childrens’. My father wasn’t exactly ‘controlling’, but he does have a strong desire to see me succeed and be happy. This photo represents the process of acceptance with my self, accepting those that came before me and preparing myself in every way for the future. The growing pains of childhood and teenage rebellion are gone. My father recognizes my complete autonomy, yet I try to humble myself when I pick his brain for the sake of become something better.
So every single time I’m with my father, regardless of how monotonous the situation appears, it has become a moment I consider priceless that I will look back and reminiscence fondly. I know that the wheels will keep turning in the universe and there may even be a time where I’ll be that door and share my memories with my children if they ever are tragically dealt with the hand of missing out too.